The FMT: WTF
I love solo traveling. It has always been something that felt empowering and freeing. I have been traveling solo on some level since college, and where I didn't go backpack Europe or study abroad (as I felt too guilty to ask my parents for the money), I found ways to travel around the country, and plan individual excursions along the way.
For me, a huge draw to solo travel is the complete independence you have in doing what you want to do, seeing what you want to see, and creating the timeline that you want to follow. I love how everything I do is something I specifically choose to do, and the timeline is all mine; no worrying about whether or not someone else is wanting to do something different, or not enjoying themselves. The empath in me finds that completely draining and distracting: I end up gauging others' energy and worrying way more than I need to about whether or not they're have a good time. Traveling alone allows me to be aware of my emotions and my enjoyment...
Because along with witnessing the sights and absorbing the experiences each place offers, something I seek - I crave -in my travels is the validation that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. Whether it is a desolate beach in Vieques, a bench in Hyde Park in London, or a yoga shala in Costa Rica, I'll get a deep seeded feeling of alignment in the world, saying "of course you are here, because you were meant to be here and all is right in this moment". That feeling of peace energizes me to move forward.
Because let's be real- this is not exactly where I thought I'd be at this point in my life. I mean we've already established that I didn't have a dream, and without any heartfelt sense of direction guiding my way, I sometimes question if I got it wrong; like I took a huge detour off the path of Right Life Decisions and ended up in places that perhaps I wasn't intended to go. Did I totally fuck it up and miss my window of opportunity? Sometimes it feels that way. Then the voice will find me and say, "Nope, this is right - here in this place, in this moment is exactly where you are supposed to be".
So as I sat on the plane to Salt Lake City, embarking on my first 10 day journey completely inspired and designed to be totally on my own, you can imagine my dismay when That Voice comes to me and says:
Girl, what the fuck were you thinking?!
Reaching over from the aisle to snap a shot
Sure, you super planned everything out, but you have never been to any of these places before, and you only have plans to see one person you know the whole time. Are you sure you should be doing this?
Gotta say, it kinda shook me a little. Was this an omen that there were bad things to come? Add this onto the fact that I somehow booked an aisle seat versus my mandatory window -the bad mojo was creeping in and I didn't like it one bit. So I had to do a quick reassessment between episodes of Big Little Lies and get my head on straight before I got off this plane.
Deep breath, shake it off. "I got this. This is going to be a journey you are prepared for and you will love, and you are meant to be here". I may have had to repeat the mantra a few times, but luckily the pep talk helped and by the time we deplaned I was ready for what was ahead. I confidently dragged my overpacked luggage to the rental car, and headed my way to my first stop: Pocatella, Idaho.
Existential Crisis averted. Now let's go explore...
The Forgotten Memorable Trip (FMT) recalls my first full-blown solo vacation during the Summer of 2019.