Into the Unknown
As I start to learn and navigate how I blog, I am noticing that inspirations for naming the posts are influenced by the song in my head at the time. This post, though musically inspired, is quite different.
Seven weeks ago today, I was setting up my Christmas tree. I especially love decorating my tree, as I collect ornaments from all of my travel destinations. I almost didn't get a tree this year: budget was a little tight and I wasn't having anyone planning to come over to see my tree, so I could save the time and money. However I began to feel like a little reminiscing would do my heart good, and besides I really like supporting the organization I buy my trees from.
My 2019 ornaments
While decorating, I felt compelled to listen to the Frozen 2 Soundtrack versus traditional Christmas music. I wouldn't consider myself a Disney fanatic, though I really enjoyed the movie. I took my niece and nephew to it opening weekend, and the soundtrack has been on regular rotation ever since. Listening to Into the Unknown that Sunday afternoon, I couldn't help but feel that the song was pushing me to follow a new path. At the time the song was resonating with me with feelings of excitement and positive apprehension for what would be ahead for me in the weeks to come. I was officially placing my toe in the waters of new job exploration, in hopes finding more fulfillment in connection at work. [Are you someone out there who's a little bit like me, who knows deep down I'm not where I'm meant to be?... don't you know there's part of me that loves to go into the unknown]
That Sunday's daydream was about a pull I was having to move across the country - do I do it? can I do it? I want to, though my family is all here on the East Coast [everything I've ever loved is here within these walls... I'm afraid of what I'm risking if I follow you into the unknown]. Leaving my 94 year old grandfather and my young niece and nephew weighed heavy on my heart... but this is all just a fantasy in my head while decorating a tree - plenty of time before any considerations would be my reality. In this moment the song was bringing excitement and light into my soul and for that I was grateful.
Little did I know that 24 hours later the song would take on a whole new meaning:
"We don't have your current position in the 2020 budget, so it has been terminated. Effective Immediately."
Woah. Okay. I've been dedicated and loyal to this place for a few weeks shy of ten years, and this is how it ends. Wow. Ouch. Holy crap. [Into the Unknowwwwwwnnn...]
I just got pushed full force into that river I was just fantasizing about dipping my toes into yesterday... let me catch my balance here... okay, I get it. I kind of knew this could happen... but really??! Is this happening? Am I unemployed?! Un. Em. Ployed?
As I slowly shared the news with my friends and colleagues in the community, I was so humbled by the outpouring of support and encouragement, and confidence that I would land on my feet quickly. In fact, it was because of these amazing friends and connections that I was able to have several solid and exciting leads before the holidays.
Gathering my thoughts overlooking the Pacific Ocean...
In hindsight, things started to make more sense: why my vacation time off wasn't ever approved, and how this had been a specifically timed event for them. Come to find it was perfectly timed for me too. It allowed me time "off" during the holidays, which then flowed into said vacation and the perfect getaway to organize my thoughts and priorities. I could head back into the job search with a clearer mind and heart, and I could make the difficult decision between two amazing opportunities from a space of immense gratitude and hope.
Fast forward to now: As Idina (and Brendon) sing to me, I feel a similar excitement for the unknown as I begin my new job tomorrow. I am ready to dive in, and am grateful for the unexpected journey that got me here. I hope to also to continue this blog from a lighter headspace, and hope that this transition will help keep my momentum and dream alive, as I've got many more cheesy song lyrics to headline my travel posts.